Pivoting
Hello friends!
So, how’s your 2020 been so far?
One thing is for sure, it’s not been as any of us expected.
I truly hope you and your loved ones have all remained in good health. If nothing else this year we have learned that our health and that of our loved ones is of the utmost importance.
Closely followed in the importance ranking:
Separation from loved ones
Keeping sane in all the global unrest and uncertainty
Controls on our movements
Financial security
Dependence on supermarkets for food (and toilet rolls)
All thrown up in the air earlier this year, and mostly all still up there, floating around in slow motion, some elements occasionally dropping back down into the realms of normality, before swiftly, being tossed back up into chaos again.
Astrologically speaking - it’s all being mirrored there also - Push / Pull is the current feel.
When I wrote last, back in January, all was (seemingly) well with the world.
NYE with fam & Argentinian friends
My daughter was about to leave Australia to continue her travels around the world. My sons had been over to spend New Year with me, along with my Argentinian friends (Workawayers from the summer). The boys and I drove down and spent a couple of days visiting my gorgeous 93 year old grandmother in Nice.
I had a photo shoot booking confirmed for the end of January. Group bookings for all the major events taking place locally plus four artist led retreats planned for the summer, and more in the pipeline, all was going to plan. Nice!
A crown shaped virus however had other ideas, deciding ‘nah, that ain’t happening. Whatever you’ve got planned for this year… Yeh… No… it ain’t happening. Soz’
Along with millions of other global inhabitants, our plans for 2020 have been pretty much screwed.
After the initial devastation and panic at the enforced separation from my (grown-up) children, fear of apocalyptic London scenes and not being able to rescue and protect them... Yup I momentarily turned into psycho-mumma. On one particular family group chat at the very beginning of pandemic, I knew I had gone overboard, when Poppy texted me simultaneously saying ‘calm the fuck down mum, we are all fine’. It didn’t stop me sending out bulk order care packs of homeopathic remedies, vitamin C and D, sage for tea and Manuka honey though... I digress. After the initial panic, I did calm down and settle into these strange times.
Standard family video call!
My year, thus far, has turned out very, very differently. Good, in every way – bar the obvious challenges, familial separation and drastically reduced business activity – along with everyone one else in the tourist sector/ hospitality/ arts sector. It’s fair to say that a global pandemic was not part of my business plan or financial forecast, nor anyone’s this year. And somehow there is a comfort in knowing, we are all in this together.
So, this year has been full of change... argh yes... my old friend change... Luckily, over the years, I have gotten much more comfortable with this particular friend! It has actually been an extraordinary year so far.
Some wonderful connections with beautiful souls, notably, a puppy called Izy who came to stay for 6 months of lockdown with her adorable and talented owner. We worked together through lockdown and built the affectionately known, Covid Suite on the second floor consisting of 2 bedrooms, a very unusual toilet and a shower room, with the help of the local plumber and electrician.
We also completed the works to the ceramics studio. I hosted a ceramics retreat with North London’s very own Ricky Grimes at the helm.
I had a brief visit from my daughter who got back from her travels safely.
Sadly I also had cancellation after cancellation for group bookings for major local events and other artist led courses. I drove back and forth to Nice multiple times, to sit with my dying grandmother, whenever not locked down. The most harrowing good bye I have experienced. So extremely loved, my caring, beautiful, loving, joy filled, adorable maternal Grand’Mere. Sadness that her great grandchildren could only be with her on video calls, but at least that was possible, and I witnessed the joy it brought her in her last days.
This is how I best remember her - full of laughter and joy
I was supported through this difficult period, by amazing virtual strangers, Sarah and Seamus, the Workawayers I was lucky enough to have staying with me after lock down was lifted. So caring and generous in their time and energy, and humour to keep me as lifted as possible.
I’ve had good friends come to stay and amazing volunteers come to help. I became a chicken mumma, started with 7, lost 4 at different times, gained two chicks, one of which survived and made it to adulthood! I got my brave on and have been wild swimming in the river and the canal, whether I’ll be brave enough to keep this up through the winter months remains to be seen. I had a successful eye operation. Had a minor car crash - never happened before, no injuries, other than my front bumper thankfully. Finalised my logo design and manifesto, and got my business cards printed! All in all, oddly given the global situation, it’s been a pretty magnificent year.
All the while though trying to forge an alternative way forward, as clearly for this year the artist led retreats were not viable with lockdowns, quarantines’, travel restrictions and all other unknowns. The Airbnb, Chambre D’hotes bookings have been way down for obvious reasons. Although the few bookings I did get from French, Belgium and returning visitors from Barcelona were welcomed and enjoyed by all for the month of August.
‘PIVOT’
It’s a word familiar to me, a mantra in fact, at several points in my life.
But seriously, I’ve been pivoting like a CMF for the past few months. I mean I’ll have the idea, I’ll find the perfect solution to a way forward in the morning. And by the same evening it’s been ‘Nah… that’s just not feeling right.’
I’ve been meditating, journaling, letting go of all expectations, trying at the same time to hold on to TRUST. To believe the ‘everything is always working out’ for me mantra. Honesty, more pivots than a ballerina practising for the Christmas performance of The Nutcracker Suite at The Royal Opera House Covent Garden!
It’s been all consuming, interesting, intense and exhausting in waves, until I let go of all expectation.
‘Surrender’
That’s all I could do. Surrender. I have given up forcing ideas. I’ve spent so much time and energy in all manner of directions, scattered, trying to find and fix.
Enough. I have given in. I have released to trust and just getting on with what I really love. Making with clay! Yeh!!!
With all the building works to the property I knew when I arrived here 2 years ago on the 11th November, I knew that I would not have much time for my clay passion. I parked it. Occasionally though, throughout my time here, when I afforded myself some me time, the odd day off, the making urge would be overwhelming, and I simply had to make something, I would get a bag of clay out and make.
Hosting the Raku firing course in the summer, reignited my passion even more, thanks Ricky!
So, oddly, with the Covid situation, not being able to host the planned events, and back into lockdown… making clay is about the only thing I can actually do.
The very thing that I have always felt I could only do as a ‘treat’, has moved centre stage to being the main event… and I am loving it!
And so… The Goddess Series is born!
Back to my wonderful ceramic’s studio for more making and creating in my happy place.
The Goddess Series will be launching soon. Scroll to the bottom of the page to subscribe to our newsletter and be amongst the first to be informed when the shop is live on line!
Thank you all for the love, it truly has carried me through.